I learned so much from Him. There were so many firsts that we experienced together and one of those was the sacred act of blowjobs. Sometimes I did them because he enjoyed it so much, and I was happy to please him. After all, he would please me in return, eager to make me feel good. Somewhere down the road, it changed a little bit.
The occasional blowjob became a daily thing. He would ask me for them every single day. One turned into two, and now it can be three or more, depending on the day. There were times when I said I was tired because it was late at night or that I was busy. It was the truth. I wanted to please Him, but I also had my own life to consider. He would pout and get a little upset, ignoring me until I gave in. I am sure He knew I would give in. My personality is submissive, and I have always been extremely conscious of what people think of me. I am a people-pleaser at heart, so if someone is angry or upset with me, I will try to fix it. So that is the way that it was… being asked for blowjobs every day.
Now it has changed again. The blowjobs have not stopped. They still happen daily. It is not a matter of asking anymore, it is a given. It is a command. He looks at me and says “blowjob” in a stern voice. It is sometimes a variation or just a point to the general area. I cannot say no anymore. There is no choice. He tells me he will break up with me if I do not please him, or worse, blackmail me to my parents with nude photographs that I thought in the past would be safe in his hands when I was away from him. There are other differences now too. Almost every time that I am trying to make him happy, he barely looks at me because he said I am not attractive to him. Instead his eyes are glued to the beautiful, thin women moaning and gyrating on the screen. Sometimes they are real and sometimes they are animated. But he prefers them and favors them. I used to feel jealous, but I just accept it now. It gets the job done quicker, so I can stop sooner. It was okay in the past, but now there is no joy in making him cum. It is a chore that has to be done or punishment will ensue. When he’s done, that’s all. I did my job. Life goes on. Every once in a blue moon he will tell me, “thank you.” In those brief, fleeting moments, I feel human again. But then it is 2am again, and he is waking me up from my sleep to command a blowjob… I have to wake up at 6am. But I will do it. I will shut up, eyes half closed and do my task. That is my life. I am a toy. Turn me on when you need a cheap thrill and shut me off when you are done with me.